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Relationship Problems and Solutions
Every relationship needs a solid foundation in order to survive and flourish. Let’s take look at the most important points of building this foundation:
• Self-esteem is critical. When you feel confident and secure within yourself, you do not need a partner to assure you of your worthiness. If your boyfriend leaves you for another woman, you can have hearty laugh and say to yourself, “It’s the poor guy’s loss and not mine!”
• Compatibility is a key factor; love sustains itself when you have goals and dreams in common.
• Spending quality time together is important when you are at the beginning of a relationship, and it is but natural to want to spend as much time as possible with your loved one. As time goes on and life gets busier (with work and children), time together often slips on the list of priorities.
• Good communication is essential. You need to be able to tell your partner who you are, what you want, and why you behave the way you do.
• There are going to be differences, and you should learn how to sort them out. Practice the art of arguing well and proving your point intelligently.
• Remember to consider your partner’s perspective as well as your own.
• Relationship is chemistry; try to mix with others’ chemistry instead of requiring that other people mix with your chemistry.
The ability to positively relate with another is a fundamental trait of any successful relationship, but before you can truly love another person, you must love yourself. A person full of love will be flexible and considerate of others because she does not expect anything of them. Without expectations, she will live like a breeze, feeling interdependent rather than dependent on other people.
More than awareness or love, the real foundation of relationships is passion. Before total passion can happen, you have to be perfectly conscious of your beliefs and thoughts.
At the same time, relationships are all about chemistry—the combination of one person’s qualities with another person’s unique qualities—and every personality combination will lead to a unique type of chemistry.
Once you are in a relationship, you might begin to take your partner for granted. You may begin to think that you know everything about him, while he might begin to think that he knows everything about you! But this is not possible. Every person is completely unique.
In my counseling work, I have discovered the following to be true:
• Many relationships are conditional and materialistic in nature.
• In general, women expect love and affection, while men expect freedom and independence.
• Physical relations alone never satisfy anyone.
• Satisfaction only comes from within.
• Love often brings pain, and pain brings growth.
• Every relationship holds uncertainty because of the fear that it might not last.
• Marriage is simply a contractual agreement between two people.
• Love can survive only in a relationship that allows compromise and where love is given unconditionally.
• Relationships are a series of changes and adjustments in learning how to live with another person; if one person changes but no adjustments are made, the relationship may end.
• When two people love wholeheartedly, both people risk feeling hatred. Love cannot exist without the potential for hatred.
• Both partners can have unrealistic expectations.
• Communication is often the greatest problem.
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